5 breathwork techniques to calm an anxious nervous system (and exactly when to use each one)
Feeling wired, overwhelmed or like you can't switch your brain off? Here are 5 simple breathwork techniques that calm your nervous system fast, plus exactly when to reach for each one.
Anxious. Wired. On edge. Stuck in your head. However you'd describe it, most of us know that particular flavour of "I can't switch off" all too well. And most of us have been told to "just breathe" – cue massive eye roll – by someone well-meaning at exactly the wrong moment, which, in all honesty, rarely helps.
What is true, though, is that the breath really is one of the fastest, most accessible tools you have at your fingertips to shift how you feel. Not because someone told you to breathe, but because of what breathing a certain way actually does inside your body. Slow your exhale down and you're directly stimulating your vagus nerve and telling your nervous system it's safe to stand down from fight-or-flight. Fear not, the tips in this blog post aren’t based on pure vibes and no science; it’s actual physiology in action.
I can’t tell you how many times a client comes into a session saying some version of ‘I just feel like I’m in my head so much’ or ‘I’m holding so much in my life right now and I just need a break’. For many of us, we are spinning so many plates at once in life that it’s no wonder that the mind is spiralling with to-do lists and the body feels heavy with the weight of everything you're holding.
This is something, if you know anything about my story, that I’m constantly navigating myself as I juggle bringing up two young kids with freelance work, running a business and all the other bits that make up life. But, thankfully, all is not lost and there is something you can do to take the edge off when life feels like a lot.
Below are 5 of my go-to breathwork techniques for calming an anxious or overstimulated nervous system, when to use each one, and exactly how to do them. Save this post, because chances are you'll want to come back to it.
1. The physiological sigh, for the moment panic starts to rise
This one is your emergency reset button. If you've ever noticed yourself sighing without meaning to after a stressful moment, that's your body doing this naturally already. You're just going to do it on purpose.
When to use it: Right before a hard conversation, mid-panic, after turbulence on a flight, or any time you notice your chest tightening and your thoughts speeding up.
How to do it:
Breathe in a long inhale through your nose to the top of your inhale.
At the very top of the inhale, top it up with a short, sharp inhale through the nose.
Let it all go with a long, slow exhale through your mouth, with an audible sigh.
Repeat 2 to 3 times.
It works quickly because the double inhale fully re-inflates your lungs and the long exhale flushes out CO2, which is what your body actually uses to reset a stress response, not the oxygen most people assume.
2. Extended exhales, for the slow-building overwhelm
Not every anxious moment is a spike of stress that hits you all at once. Sometimes it's bit more like a low hum that builds across a day: too many tabs open, too many people needing something from you, too much noise. This is your technique for that.
When to use it: Before a big meeting, during a stressful commute, or any time you can feel yourself getting wound tighter and tighter even if nothing's "happened" yet.
How to do it:
Inhale through your nose for a count of 4, letting your belly rise.
Exhale through your nose (or pursed lips, like blowing through a straw) for a count of 6 or 8, letting your belly soften.
Keep going for a few minutes, focusing on making the exhale longer and smoother than the inhale.
Longer exhales are one of the most reliable ways to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, the "rest and digest" branch that counteracts stress hormones. You don't need to force it or count perfectly – just make the out-breath longer than the in-breath and your body will do the rest. If there’s one technique that I use the most in my day to day life, it’s probably this. School run rush in the morning? Extended exhales. Non-stop tantrums? Extended exhales. Winding down at the end of the day? Extended exhales.
3. Humming bee breath, when your mind won't stop racing
This one feels a bit silly the first time you try it. My invitation is for you to just do it anyway. If you’re anything like me then it’ll quickly become a go-to you’ll be happy to have on hand for when you’re stuck in your mind.
When to use it: When your thoughts are spiralling and you need to physically interrupt them, or before sleep when your brain won't switch off.
How to do it:
Sit comfortably, close your eyes if that feels okay.
Gently place your index fingers on the cartilage of your ears (or skip this if lying down).
Breathe in through your nose, letting your belly rise.
As you exhale, make a steady humming sound like a bee, all the way through the exhale, letting your belly soften as you do so.
Repeat for several rounds
The humming and the vibration it creates stimulate your vagus nerve directly, and the sound gives your racing mind something to actually focus on instead of the thoughts themselves. It's oddly hard to keep spiralling while you're humming (I would know – I’ve tried :)).
4. Box breathing, for when you need to feel steady, not sleepy
Sometimes you don't want to feel floaty and relaxed – you need to walk into a room and feel grounded, clear and in control. This is the one for that.
When to use it: Before a presentation, a difficult conversation, an interview, or anything where you need calm focus rather than full-on relaxation.
How to do it:
Inhale through your nose for a count of 4, letting your belly rise.
Hold at the top for a count of 4
Exhale through your nose for a count of 4, letting your belly soften as you do so.
Hold at the bottom for a count of 4.
Repeat for several rounds.
The predictable, even rhythm signals safety to your nervous system without tipping you into sleepy territory, which makes it a favourite among everyone from athletes to Navy SEALs to mums spinning all the plates at once.
5. Coherent breathing, for your daily baseline
This is less of an emergency-button technique and more of a daily staple. If you only add one of these into your everyday life, make it this one.
When to use it: Ideally, every day, for 5 to 10 minutes. First thing in the morning is a lovely time IMO, but honestly any consistent slot works.
How to do it:
Inhale through your nose for a count of 5, letting your belly rise
Exhale through your nose for a count of 5, letting your belly fall
Continue at whatever pace feels sustainable, somewhere around 5 to 6 breaths per minute
Breathing at this steady, unhurried rhythm improves something called heart rate variability, which is basically a measure of how resilient and adaptable your nervous system is to stress over time. Do it regularly and you're doing so much more than simply calming yourself down in the moment – you're gradually widening your capacity to handle stress full stop.
A quick note before you go
The last thing I want you to go away thinking is that all this about forcing calm or pretending everything's fine. That’s not what breathwork is about at all! Breathwork (the way I share it, anyway) isn't about bypassing feeling what needs to be felt and moving through what we need to move through. But what breathwork does offer, with insane consistency, is a tool that works directly with your physiology (like I said before – this is not just woo woo ‘vibes’ but grounded in actual science) and it's simple enough to use anywhere, with nothing but your breath.
If you'd like to explore tapping into the power and potential of breathwork in more depth than I can possibly cover here, that's exactly what I'm here for. I offer 1:1 breathwork sessions, fully tailored to what's going on for you, whether that's anxiety, overwhelm, or simply wanting to feel more like yourself again.
And if breathwork has properly got its hooks in you and you're curious about guiding others through it, my breathwork facilitator training might be your next step. It's rooted, rigorous and nowhere near "fluffy wellness."
In the meantime, grab my free Everyday Breathwork Bundle for six short guided audios you can turn to whenever you need techniques like the ones I talked you through rather than read off a page.
